꒰ Agere.Baby ꒱

꒰ ♥ Adrienne's Big Big Essay ♥ ꒱

꒰ Introduction ꒱

Age regression is a mental and emotional state during which behavior reverts to a younger age. A person may regress a few years from their current age or, in some cases, return to a child- or infant-like state. — Brandi Jones, MSN-ED RN-BC

That is the oft repeated "definition of age regression." In truth it's much more complicated. This essay aims to investigate the agere phenomenon from every possible angle. What is it, really? Why do people identify with it? How does it differ from simply having "childish" interests? What about an age play paraphilia? Our global obsession with youth mostly manifests as a desire to look and feel younger, to enjoy nostalgic comforts. If all it comes down to is feeling like a kid again, why is age regression so contentious?

We are all born with the same needs for safety, comfort, care... From age one to ninety-two, that stays the same. On a primal level, everyone covets the unconditional love reserved for infants— and why shouldn't we? The parent-child bond is the strongest in the universe. Intimacy and acceptance without expectations or exceptions... sharing love like that, any of us would flourish.

But age regressors interpret "babying treatment" quite literally. We take it to socially unacceptable extremes. Why? Why this desperation for tenderness, forgiveness, encouragement, praise? For a gentle giant to hold your little hand and lead you through life, to clean up after you with a smile, to be so happy just that you were born...? Honestly, it's too intense. The craving overwhelms me. Could it be as simple as having an immature, underdeveloped personality? Is it a trauma-induced psychosexual hangup? Are we born this way? Maybe it's just a phase that we'll all grow out of...

Overall, those most likely to regress are real, actual children, but they tend to bounce back on their own. Allegedly, when healthy adults have immature reactions or lapse into old nervous tics, it counts as small-scale regression, too. None of those people call themselves "little," though. They don't even notice what they're doing— and if they did, why should they care? Anxiously (but infrequently) gnawing the end of a pencil is not a pillar of their personality. It feels unfair to compare it to sucking your thumb all day, every day, the way Adri does.

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While this website was intended to be a safe space to ramble about baby things, imaginary caregiving, and everything else a self-professed "little girl" wouldn't want to bother her "grownup" friends with, Adri quickly realized... she can't define age regression in just one paragraph. She can't just copy/paste from pop psych articles and call it a day. That would be a disservice to herself and anyone who wants to understand her.

Depending on who you ask, age regression is a hobby, a symptom, a fetish, a lifestyle, an aesthetic, a relationship dynamic, a coping mechanism, a personality trait. Does the complexity fascinate you, too? Having interacted with and observed many different communities, and once upon a time been at the head of some of them, Adri is intrigued by agere's myriad subcultures. It's really exciting, this opportunity to explore and dissect it all...

This essay is the result of years of frustration with one-dimensional explanations. In-depth writings exist, yes, but many authors are peremptory and prescriptive, insisting that age regression is only one thing, never another. Almost always, it comes from a fear of being judged. What else can we expect when discussing something so private and so unconventional? Everyone wants to be accepted. Sometimes, though, protecting our own vulnerabilities inhibits global understanding.

Don't worry. Adri is not advocating for unity between the traumatized children, kinky adults, uninvolved toy collectors, and full-blown paraphiliacs. Distinct communities form for valid reasons. Take Lolita fashion, for example. What does the counterculture-fashion-loving, sexually "normal" woman have in common with the sissified, age-player male? They may wear the same dress, but their motivations are worlds apart.

Adults have no right to prey upon children under the guise of "caregiving." Naturally, teenagers will want to explore their burgeoning sexuality and, naturally, they will do so recklessly. The burden falls on those older and wiser to maintain fetish communities as "adults only." And no matter the age, gender, or sexuality of those involved, so-called "dominants" have no right to excuse coercive control as a "kink." Nobody consents to being abused.

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As you can see... Adri is an opinionated girl. She's also very curious. Throughout her essay, she promises to balance her strong convictions with her love of learning. As excited as she is to explain exactly how things are for her, the individual, this essay should be about you, too. Regressor or not, we all have a lot to learn. The goal is one half self-expression, one half self-discovery, with new ideas integrated into the bigger picture of agere all throughout. Why are we "little" and what does it mean for us? What does it mean for our world? Let's find out, one baby step at a time.

If you also have Big Thoughts about all this, you can sign the guestbook or send Adri some mail! Feedback is much appreciated...

꒰ To Discuss ꒱